The title should have been, ‘Why do working women and (working) men marrying them, insist on taking dowry’. But since this title is too long, it has been shortened.
It seems in India we are hell-bent on not following laws made by our own elected representatives. Do we have a dictatorship? No. So, we are making laws ourselves and we are so happy to break them! What kind of attitude is this and why do we make laws that we know almost everyone are going to break?
It is my understanding that giving/taking dowry is a social malpractice and it is unlawful. Please correct me if I am wrong. In spite of this, even (and especially) in cities, we see dowry being given by the girls side to the boys side. It’s no secret. People do it brazenly and openly. Some marriages even have a special (locked) dowry display room with large windows so that everyone can see what is being given!!
I don’t know what socio-economic factors compel this practice in villages (as I have not lived in one), but I just fail to understand why this practice is prevalent in cities and why educated people (both parents, sons/daughters) show their utmost patronage to this nonsense of a system?
Think about this – Boys and girls are given good education in cities. Both complete professional degrees or at least they have arts degrees. So, the amount of money spent on upbringing sons and daughters is almost the same. With a degree in hand, getting a job is not a big challenge in cities. And many women work and earn more than men.
All these things have changed according to the times. But one practice remains brazenly unchanged – Giving and taking dowry! I am surprised at the enthusiasm shown by both the involved parties (boys and girls) in looting as much as possible from the girls parents and then disrespecting them in their old age.
I can even show some consideration in case of women who are not college educated and don’t work (Even then I don’t think dowry is right). But how can women who stand in their own legs (earn sufficiently) before marriage agree to be insulted with a hefty (and often demanded) dowry? There is also a third category – people who study a lot (read: spend astronomical quantities of fathers money on their education), do not work anywhere and then expect a hefty dowry too.
Let us focus on the middle category for now. It’s quite obvious that these people do not require any support system (especially in the form of dowry) to live. Both the partners are working and they earn a considerable amount of money. Why can’t such people wait for some more years and then take the jewels when the property is being divided (after the death of both the parents)? Why can’t such people earn their own money to buy their car?
Why do such youngsters show absolutely no concern when dowry talks are going on? But the same people jump up and down when dowry harassment happens! Worse, why are youngsters so eager to know how much jewels they will be getting and what model, color and length of the car they are going to get?
I challenge any of my women commenter’s (who were working before their marriage) to say in the comments (truthfully) that they did not accept any dowry while getting married. Shame on men who take cars/other expensive items as dowry. I wonder if these men have any self-respect? I also challenge men (who were in a good economic situation when they got married) to say that they did not accept any expensive gift during their marriage.
I want to know if there are any self-respecting people among us. Of course, you can exercise your right not to comment. It’s perfectly legal.
PS: Only hypocrites will comment like, ‘Boy’s side insist. They pressure. They threaten. What do to. We are helpless. We are a like a small baby while getting married’, etc.