The Woodcutter and his Axe Story REMIXED

I am sure you all know the Woodcutter and his Axe story. If not, here’s a small recap:

A Woodcutter accidentally drops his Axe into the river. Since it is his only Axe, he is very much saddened. Looking at his plight, God appears before him, shows axes made of bronze, silver and gold and asks him if any of them were his.

Since the woodcutter is honest, he refuses each time. Impressed by his honesty, God gives all four axes (including his wooden Axe) to him and disappears.

REMIX of The Woodcutter and his Axe story:

A woodcutter is cutting wood near a river. Just then, his wife comes to the river to fetch some water and accidentally falls down into the river.

Now God appears before him and asks, ‘Is this yours?’ Next to him is Archana.

The woodcutter is really tempted. But then, he remembers the old version of the Woodcutter and his Axe story and hence he refuses.

Then again God asks, ‘Is this yours?’ Next to him now is Anushka.

The woodcutter is again tempted. He tries to reason with himself that the old story may not repeat this time. But somehow he decides to try his luck and he refuses again.

Then again God asks, ‘Is this yours?’ Next to him is Katrina.

The woodcutter is just not able to believe his luck. Remembering the old story again, he refuses.

God is impressed with his honesty. He orders, ‘Give all the four pots – The golden pot, silver pot, bronze pot and the mud pot, to this honest woodcutter’

The woodcutter is perplexed. He asks, ‘God, I saw three women next to you, but you are offering me pots?’

Now God is perplexed. ‘Didn’t you see the pots they were holding in their hands?’

‘No. I thought my wife fell down in the river and….’

‘Yes, your wife fell down in the river with her mud pot. She came back to the shore a long time ago, but lost her pot in the river. If you did not notice the pots, then what were you… You PERVERT!! Take away all the pots including his mud pot from him’

‘God, may I ask you for one small favor? Please don’t tell about this incident to my wife’

‘I don’t have to, Son. She’s been standing right behind you and noticing everything for the last ten minutes’

:D

Destination Infinity

20 thoughts on “The Woodcutter and his Axe Story REMIXED

  1. That’s a good one!

    :)
    and here’s a Remix of a Pottery barn joke. Hope you get it!

    In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur walked into the trap laid by a mangy little copycat relishing food from a saucer stealthily. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery.

    He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the copycat.

    “It’s not for sale,” said the proprietor, “His childhood was bad! He gets the urge to shout ‘Bring me the axe!’ Whenever he hears the name Christina! He will bring you pot to make you Gay! When he can’t find something against you to say he will create tales and have the town believe its real!”

    “Look,” said the collector, “that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I’m eccentric. I like cats that way and offer to be the cat’s self appointed spokesperson. I’ll raise my offer to ten dollars.”

    “I’ve tried cautioning you but if that’s the way you want it then so be it. God help you!”, said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten on the spot.

    “For that sum I’m sure you won’t mind throwing in the saucer,” said the connoisseur. “The cat seems so happy to lap up all that he could find under the shadow of the saucer and so do I.”

    “Nothing doing,” said the proprietor firmly. “That’s a lucky saucer that warns me and my customers on the ferocity of the copycats sold!”

      1. Ok, I am not sure what you are trying to communicate. But there will be no more unrelated comments here. I apologize for deleting your two comments, and any more unrelated comments will be deleted as well.

        Destination Infinity

  2. That’s awesome!! :D :D Loved it!!
    But here’s a different version of that….

    Story is the same before, except this time the woodcutter loses his wife. Similar to your story, God produces some actress and asks if it is his wife. Woodcutter remembers the earlier story and instead says YES the first time round!

    God, enraged, shouts at him. “You ungrateful lech!! You know this is not your wife!! Whatever happened to your honesty?”
    The woodcutter very quietly made his point. “I do know My Lord, but then just like last time you reward me all three of them when I do point to my own wife in the end…. I’m having trouble as it is tolerating ONE wife!! And then you land me three??? No thanks… I’d rather settle for the first I get!! ”

    :D :D :D

    1. In your story, there is a possibility that all the women (including his wife) are taken away from him and he lives happily ever after :) ;) :)

      Destination Infinity

  3. this story is my 5 year old daughter’s UKG mid-term exam portion & i have heard it countless times

    your take on the story was amusing. loved it
    poor guy! and with the wife right behind him – finished! :)

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