After attending this course, I decided that I will implement at least one thing taught there. After a long internal debate, I chose meditation. As recommended there, I decided to meditate everyday for 20 minutes (the most minimum recommended period), just before I slept (at 12 AM in the night!).
You think meditation is a very easy thing to do, right? Read on to find out how my #ConditionSeriousHai Mind tortures me.
Conversation between me and my mind during my first meditation:
Me: I am going to meditate right here, on this chair.
My mind: Nonsense. Go sit down on the floor. Have you seen any great Rishi meditating on a chair?
I go and sit down in a corner (just before a wall, so that I can lean on it anytime I want), folding both my legs and keeping my arms stretched on my legs.
I then lean on the wall to find some comfort.
My mind: Come forward and sit straight. Have you seen any great Rishi lean back on a tree or wall to meditate?
For time-being I come forward. I take my mobile phone and play some Tamil songs on the loud speaker.
My mind: What the hell? Meditation is a time to experience NOTHINGNESS. But you are listening to songs? You might as well watch a movie…
I find that movie-watching offer during meditation, highly tempting. But, aware my mind’s temperament, I avoid it for now.
Me: Common re, how else can I keep track of the time? I can’t open my eyes and keep looking at the time every now and then, no? That’s why I am playing songs. Four songs = 20 minutes.
Somehow, my mind accepts this logic! I switch on the song, close my eyes and start telling so-hum-so-hum-so-hum (during breathing in and out respectively), within myself, as taught in the course.
Unfortunately, (for the mind), this is the first song that was played. I started shaking my face and my hips to the rhythm.
My mind: You are the first person to DANCE while MEDITATING!! Stop it NOW.
I ignore it for sometime.
My mind: I said STOP IT.
Somehow reluctantly I stop and go back to so-hum-so-hum routine.
My mind: In meditation, your focus should be on experiencing NOTHINGNESS. Concentrate on that.
Me: If you keep lecturing me, how can I experience that nothingness? Relax DUDE.
While meditating, I think about anything and everything. I find all thoughts from everywhere attack me simultaneously! After a couple of songs, my mind is already tired of playing the role of gatekeeper to keep my (stray) thoughts away.
Since I am not used to sitting on the floor, my legs pain. I stretch both my legs for a few seconds.
My mind: What nonsense is this? Rishis meditate for days together and even a snake-pit forms over them, but you are not able to keep your position for TEN MINUTES??
Me: What to do, re? I am finding it difficult.
My mind: I feel it’s high-time you followed the general stretching exercises taught in that course, too. Come back to your original positon NOW.
Then I somehow manage to go back. After the third song gets over,
Me: Yaayyyy… 20 minutes are over. I am going back to bed…
My mind: Nonsense. Only three songs have finished playing. You have to sit through another full song.
Somehow, that final song feels like it’s playing forever!
Me: Please re… tomorrow I will meditate for 4 songs. Today, as a beginner bouns, I will finish with three.
My mind: Nothing doing. Rules are Rules. You will complete 20 minutes.
After (what appears to me as) an eon, the song gets over and I quickly jump on my bed. The bliss I experience when I stretch my legs and lie down on the bed after the meditation session, is unparalleled! If not for anything else, I am thankful to meditation for that 😉 Of course, no more listening to mind’s #ConditionSeriousHai lectures after that 😀
Did you think meditation was simple? Try it 😛
This blog post was written for a contest organized by Cadbury 5 Star & Indiblogger.